This is just a little something to say I’m not dead. Or, maybe I am and I’m haunting you. Woo~
Well, where to begin? The beginning is usually a good place. I’ve been thinking a lot about all things Moggie and the future of this ongoing and (probably) lifelong project that I have spent the last eight years building up into whatever it is now. Whatever that may be is up to you. You’re the viewers- you’re the people who are here for one reason or another- and so it’s sort of subjective. Are you here for the art? The ramblings? The gaming? ‘Cause you like cats? Whichever the reason it’s good to have you here and to share these stories with you.
But the future comes with a sense of unease. To be honest, if anyone had told me that eight years from that chilly October in 2006 that I would still be doing this whole thing (admittedly a lot different to how it was then) I’d have scarcely believed it would be possible. Then again art has always been there. It’s always been a part of who I am and what I enjoy. Truth be told, while graphics don’t make the game, I do enjoy randomly exploring locations just to look at the art direction. I love the art direction in Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning as it has such a vibrant fantasy feel. Much in the same way that there are few games which provide the complete experience you get with The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind as the whole setting, from the locations, to the music, is positively unique and enchanting.
Much of my earlier art was heavily inspired by gaming and I enjoyed drawing influences from various sources. It explains my whole style really. I don’t focus on any one element and push for something that is realism, or graphic novel style, or abstract, or what have you- I do something unique. Something as unique as I am. Influenced by all the things that influence me.
It also explains why I don’t stay in one place for too long as I’m always looking for something new to try or experience. I’ve settled from time to time and done a few pieces of a similar kind but it’s not too long before I pack up and get moving to my next destination. Then, sometimes, going back to old pieces and revitalising them with the things that I wished they had possessed the first time around. It illustrates both my creativity and the erratic nature of my mind which is always thinking, always questioning, always looking for another challenge, and always evolving. Though, in the last few years it has slowed down somewhat as I am happy with a lot more things than I used to be.
The last couple of years have been interesting to say the least. I feel like I’ve achieved quite a bit but I know that there will always be more to do and at this moment in time that’s keeping my head above water and being motivated enough to push forward. I was always prepared that things might not go the way I expected. Or, rather, as I had hoped. That’s my very nature. I don’t run too many risks with the things that matter and I’m glad I didn’t as at least I still have something to carry on with.
That said I’m restless. I’m disorientated. I’m dusting off a large selection from my collection of music that I haven’t listened to in years as I just can’t find a comfortable groove to slide into. I’ve been considering closing up shop with my personal website for some time. Maybe leaving it there as an archive but not updating it (or any of the social media) any further. I don’t really know how to explain how I feel about my art at the moment. I would say I’ve still got the heart for it but my passion is gone. Or that I still have a passion for it but my heart just isn’t in it? Or both. Or neither. I don’t know. It’s uncomfortable thinking about it as I don’t really know what to say or how to word it or even if it’s worth saying anything.
That’s where gaming comes in. One thing I can say about that is that there will always be new things to play and if there aren’t then there’s a lot of good older games to play again. I can also play most games reasonably well without much investment from myself, so, if I’m just feeling out of it one day, I can easily auto pilot the game until I feel better the next day. I can’t do that with art. I need to be able to concentrate and focus on something which I just can’t do when I feel the way I do most days. While, when inspiration strikes, it usually fizzles out ‘fore too long and I’m just sat wondering when it’s going to come around again. Maybe I should cook some crumpets and make some coffee. Incentives?
I don’t know what to say, really.
Have a nice week!